I am so happy, so clean, and so free. All of the toxins are out of my body, and replaced with pure love.

beast

slow emotions drained away.
every sip makes me die inside just a little more.
every memory lost, is a regret i will hold forever.
the beast has taken over my soul, but i wont let him win.
i can put down the bottle.
i will save my soul, and i will make it grow.
i want everything i do to be my decision, not his.
i want everything i do to be what i want to do, not what anyone else wants.
i want to take that piece of me back.
i want to remember every second that i'm alive, becasue i'm alive for a reason.
i want my innocence back.
i once thought he could numb the pain...
but when i wake up, the pain is much sharper.
the beast is killing me, but i will grow, and i will kill him.

romance

everything is inside out
turn this way
run that way
scattered thoughts
chasing after the beast
just one more bottle
i'll be ok
silence kills
it burns the lining of my stomach
run
run
i will catch you soon
just one more bottle
i'll be just fine
i am turning blue
i can hold my breath
i can dance through midnight
just one more bottle
the pain is gone
chase you away
run you out
one night less painfull
one night less hatefull
i found the beast
just one more bottle
just one more
one bottle of beast
and you are gone,
and so am i

1,2,3 you cut out my heart
i'll never let you go
i'll never LET you go

(i can only wish)

you rip my heart out.

i feed it to msyelf on a plate hoping you'll do the same tomorow.

maybe i'll choke.

maybe i'll die.

maybe you won't get another chance to rip it out again.

i've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that i almost belive that they're real
i'vebeen living so long with my pictures of you
that i almost believe that the pictures are all i can feel
remembering you standing quiet in the rain
as i ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in holding you close
how i always held close in your fear
remembering you running soft through the night
you were bigger and brighter than the snow
and screamed at the make-believe
screamed at the sky
and you finally found all your courage to let it all go
remembering you fallen into my arms
crying for the death of your heart
you were stone white so delicate
lost in the cold
you were always so lost in the dark
remembering you how you used to be
slow drowned you were angels so much more than everything
oh hold for the last time then slip away quietly
open my eyes but i never see anything
if only i had thought of the right words
i could have hold on to your heart
if only i'd thought of the right words
i wouldn't be breaking apart
all my pictures of you
Looking So long at these pictures of you
but i never hold on to your heart
looking so long for the words to be true
but always just breaking apart
my pictures of you
there was nothing in the world that i ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever wanted more
than to never feel the breaking apart
all my pictures of you